New Beginnings Begin with Glorious Endings

I am renewed.

Its coming to the end of my seventh year on this blog. The renewal doesn't end. It is constant, always changing, always growing. Like a living thing. A Life-giving thing.

But we're always looking forward to the new. A new day, a new direction, a fresh start. My life has been sculpted by my fears. The contradiction in which I so much feared failing that I kept failing. I never put in effort in my undertakings so that even though I failed, I was somehow detached from it.

This is the end of fear.
This is where I embrace who I am and all that He has called me to be.

Writings & Musings

Sent With Love

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,

To the saints and faithful brothers in Christ at Colossae:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father. We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel, which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and growing—as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth.

Colossians 3:3-6

There are some things that people are naturally good at. For example, if you wanted to learn about drums, you would head to the best drummer, Gerald. If you wanted to learn about design, you would go to Tom or Natt or Persie. If you weren't sure about legal matters, you would talk to someone who was a lawyer, or studying to be a lawyer like Keith or Si En. They all have their callings, their niche or talents.

We see here that Paul, was called to be an Apostle of Jesus Christ. We see that he is in this position by the will of God. Its safe to say that he knew some things about Jesus. Paul begins most of his letters in the same way. He says this in almost all his letters. We always thank God...when we pray for you. Every prayer that they prayed for the church of Colossae always included thanksgiving. Just flip to the beginning of the letter to the Romans, the first letter to the church of Corinth, letters to Ephesus, Philippi and Thessalonica. They all mentioned constant prayer which included thanksgiving. Philippians 4:6 says that we are to pray with thanksgiving. This makes me wonder, have I prayed for my church with thanksgiving?

It is interesting to note that the only exception where Paul didn't include a thanksgiving was in his letter to the church in Galatia. We should also take note from the way Paul phrased this letter, it seemed that the Galatians were returning back to the works of the Law. Paul goes on to reestablish the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that we are justified by faith in Jesus Christ. He reminds the Galatians that by faith they are redeemed and made righteous, that they are now sons and heirs according to the promise. He asks questions like "who bewitched you?" and "who hindered you from obeying the truth? He challenged their custom of circumcision, which was a good practice set in motion by God. But God now had something better. Jesus.

Faith can be heard
How can faith be heard? What is the sound of faith? Romans 10:14b asks the same thing. How can faith be heard without someone preaching? Faith needs a preacher! I'm not talking about the person who speaks behind the pulpit every Sunday. The Greek word for preaching is Kerusso. It means to proclaim openly, to talk openly with authority.

So how is faith heard? Its heard when we talk about it!
What is faith? Hebrews 11:1 says Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Have people been talking about your assurance? Has your conviction been causing a stir? If people aren't talking about you, it means your faith is TOO QUIET! It is time to get a bit louder. Time to pair your faith with Love and make your faith famous!

Love sends
We are to preach! Romans 10:15 asks How are they to preach unless they are sent?
Love is the loudhailer of your faith. It amplifies the volume of faith. If you want to be heard, you've got to have Love. Pastor Andy shared this brilliant passage during November's combined cell.

When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.
Mark 6:34

When Jesus sees, He sees more than what meets the eye. He saw people, but He also saw needs, He saw that there was neglect, He saw lack of knowlege. And because He saw, Love and compassion flowed. Love flows when we see needs. People talk when needs are met and when people talk, others hear. You are not expected to be the one to fulfill every need. But you can ensure that every need is fulfilled.

A hope laid out
Love and faith could not exist if we didn't have a hope laid up in heaven. That hope is Jesus. In Acts 7:55, Stephen saw Jesus standing at the right hand of the Father. In Ephesians 2:6, Colossians 3:1 and Hebrews 8:1, Paul says that Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father. But here in Colossians 1:5, Paul says that we have a hope, Jesus, who is lying in wait for us to make that faith famous.

In the letter to the Colossians alone, Paul describes Jesus in so many ways. He is Grace and Peace. He is the Word of Truth, the Gospel. He is the knowlege of God's will in spiritual wisdom and understanding. He is Power, Glorious Might. He is our Joy. He is our qualification, our inheritence. He is our Deliverer, King of the Kingdom of Light. He is Redeemer, Forgiver. He is God made visible, the firstborn of all creation. He is Creator, the raw material, the process and the processed. He is the artist and the admirer, the performer and the audience. He is the Head of us all. he is the Beginning, the firstborn from the dead. He is first in all things. He is the fullness of God in man. He is reconciliation, the intimacy between God and man, heaven and earth. He is our lawyer, our vindicator. He is purpose discovered, the mystery revealed, the revelation, the riches of glory, the revolution which energises us within. He is encouragement, the knot that holds us together. He is our path, our foundation, our firmness, our structure and what fills us. He is our final authority, the baptism, burial and resurrection. He is our Life, our payment. He is Law fulfilled, He is the disarmer of rulers and authorities, He is our triumph. He is our nourishment, our growth. He is our focus, our hiding place. He is compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience and Love. He is our Glory and He is our Song. He is obedience, respect and sincerity. He is our master. He is Jesus and He is the Hope that started it all.

I pray that as you hear of Jesus and discover Him, you will develop a love that sends and a faith that is famous.

Did You Enjoy...

I haven't worshipped in a while. I've led worship and I've had conversations about worship, almost boasting about how I don't even need a full band to lead worship in church. If I had to lead worship alone, just me and my acoustic guitar, I could.

I stank of pride.

Pride is a sneaky thing. It creeps up on you like a hyena stalking its prey. Always in the shadows but never daring to meet face to face. Waiting for the precise moment when the prey is most unaware of itself and it's surroundings. We are like that prey. Before we realise it, pride is all over us along with its awful smell.

Tonight, God asked me if I could worship Him without an instrument. I don't know why I insisted on picking up the guitar and playing it with the remaining three healthy fingers. It was awkward and uncomfortable like I was trying to play it for the first time. I put the guitar down and started to sing about His goodness, about how I was healed by His blood. I sang for about 10 minutes. And then I stopped. I couldn't help thinking about how badly I wanted to play again. I wanted to feel my fingers breeze over the frets of the guitar, to touch the strings to make them sing. I told God how much I wanted to recover really soon so that I could make music and write songs again. I did not expect Him to answer me. He said, "I enjoyed your playing and your singing. Did you enjoy Me?"

Did you enjoy Me?

Worship isn't just a song we sing or a performance we bring. Worship begins when we encounter Jesus. How we react to Him is our worship. There's no requirement for a song or music. It is a connection, a conversation with God. His Spirit and us.

So I laid down, and just enjoyed His presence in my room. And I slept. And worshipped. And slept. And when morning arrived, Hope came along.

I Just Wanna Say I'm Not Afraid... Anymore

This week has not been the best week for me. During the last futsal session on tuesday, I was playing goalkeeper. Just a few minutes into that round, I was left with a one-on-one with the opposing striker. I moved forward to cover the angle of the shot and reduce his chances of scoring. The next events happened so quickly that I was lying on the ground in a matter of seconds.

According to Dennis, the striker, had booted the ball towards goal with his toe. Being a goalkeeper in my secondary school days, the natural reaction was to dive towards the ball while swinging my arms. I think I had covered my angle well because although I did not block the shot, it hit the post and bounced back towards my hand. My left hand was already opening up to brace my fall on the synthetic turf when the ball came crashing into my straightened fingers. The first thought that came into my mind was that the ball was going to bounce off me and into the goal and our team would be out. Dennis says I'm crazy.

Thats when everything in my body started screaming in discomfort. Before I realised it, I was on my back clutching my left hand, eyes clenched shut as if the light would make it worse. Usually it would take 10 seconds, or less, for any knock that I received on the pitch to subside. This lasted 20... 30 seconds... a minute... 3 minutes... I didn't realise how much time had passed because I was fighting off wave after wave of the pounding pain. I could hear the guys around me telling me to get off the pitch so that they could continue with the game. I somehow found myself sitting outside the pitch nursing my fingers which seemed to be keeping straight on their own, almost in rebellion to the instructions of my body, after the trauma they received.

It is interesting to note that even through the dizzy haze of discomfort, dread and fear were still vivid and clear. What would happen to my fingers? Would I be able to play an instrument ever again? What good am I to God if He's called me to music and I can't play?

The line separating my talent and my self-worth became a blur.

I guess this is the reminder that I needed. That even if I lost every talent and anointing that He gave me, I would still be alright. He's convinced me that it is not the end of my calling. That my worth is not tied to what I have to give. That I always have Jesus. We are all looking for Love, Acceptance and Purpose, and when things look like we've lost our way, we start to panic. The needle of our compass goes beserk, and it drives us nuts. We try so hard to make it right. We forget that we can navigate by the stars.

Pastor Prince spoke yesterday about making Jesus the centre of every situation. He made me cry. Because God was speaking to me through him. Telling me to put Jesus in the middle of my crisis. About keeping my heart right in the area of worship, remembering that it is about Jesus and His people. About talents that cannot stop growing when we invest it in His Kingdom. So broken finger or not... I'm fulfilling my calling! I've got the stars.

I'm Growing Fond Of Broken People...

It is amazing how many broken people there are in the church. People who have been lied to and expected to portray perfection because they are Christian.

I saw a woman at yesterday's service. She was tall. Lush. Just beautiful. The speaker had just called for those who were like those mentioned in the Amplified version of Luke 4:19. Oppressed, downtrodden, bruised, crushed, or broken down by calamity. The beautiful woman shuffled forward as if afraid to be seen, afraid to wander too far away from her husband's side. Probably thinking that her heart would be laid bare for all to see. And condemn. Probably because of the dirty filthy lies fed to her from a young age.

I saw her crying. Tears stained with shame as she moved to the front to be prayed for. She behaved as if the whole room was staring her down, but in reality, no one really noticed. The speaker prayed for her, laid hands on her head and the Holy Spirit knocked her over and must have started dealing with her heart.

Dealings with the Holy Spirit are always a sight to behold. Even though it is a messy, disorganised business, with arms flailing and people making strange sounds, it is still an enchanting exchange between God and man. It was intimate time but it seemed like she couldn't handle it. I could see her sit up after awhile and try to stand but she couldn't. Even where I was standing, I could tell that God was telling her not to rush things. Her husband tried to help her up but it seemed like God had fixed her firmly to the ground.

It seemed that the presence of the Holy Spirit was gently coming around her. But her feeble defence, the shield of shame that she tried to wield, was being overcome. It was as if she didn't like the sensation of getting wet while sitting on a beach as the waves came up around her.

Just then, God said, "Go sing to her, calm her down."
And these thoughts came rushing in.

"Daryl, you bloody show off! Do you really think you have such a nice voice that you have the right to sing to anyone you like? Why don't you take it one further and join Nate and Clement at the drums, do a drum solo and say the Holy Spirit told you to do it?"

On and on the struggle went. And while I was busy in debate with my insecurity, the woman and her husband had come back to their seats which were just behind me. While I was contemplating how foolish it would look to turn around and sing facing them, my friend, Samuel, who had been sitting beside me leant over and asked whether he should go up to the front for prayer. His eyes, full of determined desperation, showed me that it wasn't a request.

While he slipped out to go to the front, I went over to my sister, who was standing nearby and tried to pass the baton. I told her to go over to sing to the woman. She started to move towards her but stopped after a single step. She said God had dealt with her already. She was right. He had already asked me to do it. She pointed out something about  her appearance which made me even more sure that I was supposed to sing to her.

I made my way down the aisle and stood behind her and slightly to the right. Then I began to worship God as best I could. Nate and Megan were singing 'Majesty' by Delirious?. I began to harmonise with Nate, singing in the Spirit, trying to match the intensity of the Holy Spirit as I felt Him.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am,

And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.

Forever I am changed by Your love,

In the presence of Your Majesty.

Majesty.

As I sang, her hands rushed to cover her face again. To try to stop the tears again. But I noticed that her sobbing had changed. From that of a struggle, to one of surrender. She sat down and began to bask in His peace. I may not have been the speaker that night. I may not have been the worship leader or in the worship band. But I can still be obedient to the Holy Spirit. I can still minister.

Why are there so many broken people? Maybe we haven't been who we are meant to be. Maybe we have been misrepresenting Jesus and the church for so long that we come across as moral police and behavioural judges. Maybe it is just time to stop pretending like we have it all figured out.

I hope the world forgives us.

Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles, Facades are a fire on the skin.
And I'm growing fond of broken people, As I see that I am one of them.
Oh, why must I work so hard, Just so I can feel like the nobles ones?
Obligations to my heart are gone, Superficial lines explain it all.
| Mutemath - Pins & Needles |

I started to realise that there was a great hunger and thirst for regular, cynical, ragbag people to talk about God and goodness and virtue in a tone that didn't frighten and upset you, or make you feel that you were doing even more poorly than you'd thought.
| Anne Lamott on her book Travelling Mercies |

End Of The Selah, Start Of The Song

I return home tonight. They say home is where the heart is. But I feel that my heart has been spread so wide and so thin. Ten days away from home has helped somewhat. I've had loads of time to pray and read and meditate on the future. I've learnt a lot from the books by Rob Bell, the teachings by Rachel and Daniel at Revo, the giddy antics of Reggie Dabs and raw anointing on his testimony. Seeing hundreds of kids coming forward to give their lives to Jesus makes you wish you could somehow be part of that.

Maybe I didn't get the direction that I desired. But I know, I caught something here in Perth. Maybe its when the Holy Spirit crashed into me like a ton of bricks after Daniel prayed for me at Revolution. It was wave after wave of pure strong love. Its like God had punctuated the last sentence of the chapter. It was like the turning of the page.

I hope that me being here has touched some lives.

I hope I represented Agape to Eileen. The Love that expects nothing in return. No agenda, no ulterior motive. That she deserves better than what she's received so far. That she is beautiful no matter what the situation. Brokenness is a bad thing. But when out of it flows a song, it brings healing. Keep singing, nightingale...

I pray that Daniel keeps preaching and preaching the Word. So that all around him are built up in Faith by hearing and hearing. I pray for more opportunities for Kingdom talk.

I hope Kenny saw me giving 10 dollars to the homeless man outside Miss Maud's. I hope Kenny understands that it wasn't to shut the man's drunken babble and chase him away. But an excuse to touch him, overwhelm him and heal him with the presence of God and a prayer. This is bring the baptism of God to the world. You know. Like Jesus said. Bringing the Word to reality.

I haven't mentioned Cheryl who I can't believe only just turned 18. Jessica, the Bible freak, who manage to share deep revelations during lifegroup to end any chance of discussion and yet remain as ditsy as ever. Jonathan who is as funny as heck. Liane who taught me how to use the flash on the EOS 500D. Raymond who looks like he'll fit into the hardcore scene in Singapore but sings boyband songs during Karaoke. Petrina, who is always full of Grace and Beauty.

It is so nice to come to a place and belong. I may be going home. But I feel like I'm leaving home too. All of you made it worth it.

Justice, Mercy, Compassion

Do we even know what those words really mean? Or have they just become part of the Christian's vocabulary? Piled together with words like Faith, Evangelism, Righteousness?

In Zechariah 7:9 it says, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another."

I believe that most of us, deep down in our hearts, desire to do what is right. We have heard the inspiration of the pioneers of the cause, seen the videos that made us cry, read the testimonies and reflected on what we should do.

But the truth is, we're all too busy to care. I do not say this to condemn. There's nothing wrong with being busy. We have our school, our work, our friends and family. They require our time too. I sometimes have no time to pray or even think about the unsheltered, the sick and the dying in my own country. There are needs. Too many. Each crying out like a wounded man on side of the road. I simply do not do enough. As if to prove my point, Michelle just gave me a link to a trailer for part 2 of Hillsong United's I-Heart Revolution, "We're All In This Together". In it, Joel Houston, in his usual haunting, soul-rending monologue asks, "...and you see these streets, you see people going about their lives. If what is going on in these four walls is having no effect on the streets that we travel to get there, then maybe we are missing the point?"

I guess this is what this trip is all about. To find the point.

Worship. Youth. Missions.

I have been formed for these.

I think often of the passage in Matthew 6:25-34. It starts off like this, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear."

I think often of how I hardly know any Christian who lives it out or even comes near to doing so. It’s simply too radical.

Do not worry? Don’t worry about what we shall eat or drink or wear? Just seek first God’s kingdom and everything will be OK?

That is faith in God’s providence. Isn’t it the worry of what people would eat, drink and wear in future that motivates people to save and invest for the future? Isn’t it simply the lack of trust that God will provide in every way that makes us just focus on accumulating and investing money for ourselves and our future, rather than using it to help those who need it more than us right now?

I do not have the answers to those questions. What I do know is that I want to have a lifestyle where I can give abundantly like God does. If anything, I want to be known for taking things to the extreme. For extreme generosity, for extreme gentleness, for extreme Love. That would be how Jesus would do it, I believe.

Could that be the one thing? Love?

What if you could choose to Love wholeheartedly and expect nothing in return?
What if we really could Love till a person's worth is unveiled?

1 Peter 4:8 says, "keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

Earnestly... Fervently... The word here in the Greek means with an intent to be stretched out for someone.

Just like Jesus on the Cross.

Reasons To Leave....

Sometimes, I make decisions which can shock people. Or at least cause some eyebrows to be raised. I won't say that God made me this way because it wouldn't do God justice. As if He did something wrong. No. I would say He is still forming me. I don't intend to offend. I would apologise if that helps.

But it doesn't. In fact, I am not sorry.

Joshua came back from the UK to have a wedding reception for his friends in Singapore. I had the privilege of meeting his wife, Hannah. I can't believe I told Michelle that she wasn't pretty. I think I was in some sort of denial. It took just 5 seconds for me to realise that I was sincerely wrong. Joshua found someone that exuded beauty both inside and out.

That man inspires me like music... or poetry. I really loved the conversations that we had, as short as they were. I love the selfless belief. The faith in the Gift that God has placed in me. It takes an extremely Godly man to 'consider others better than yourselves'. (Philippians 2:3)
It was like a change of batteries. A jolt back into the reality of God's purpose for me. Suddenly, I have been feeling like I have to get away from this place. To escape to a place where I can breathe. Where I last felt alive.

I am going to Australia.

This is a new story. About dropping everything for what is important. Friendship, Faith and the fun of finding out whether it is possible to actually walk on eggshells. This is about the changing of mindsets, the renewing of convenants and the discovering of new direction.

This is not an apology...
This is me speaking Life into my purpose. This is me calling Light into my vision.

Maybe you might not understand.

I don't blame you.

Dining With God

Before I left for Australia, Pastor Lay Suan preached a sermon based on Exodus 24. But it wasn't really a sermon. It was really a wake up call and an invitation.

Come up here to me…
Of all the words in the first two verses, the thing that bothers me the most are the words 'worship from afar'. It is the fact that God wants to keep His people away that shocks me. God says, "...the others shall not come near, and the people shall not come up with him." Elissa also mentions this point in her blog post titled "In This Chaos We Find Safety". There was to be no touching the mountain that God was on. There was no way they could come close even after washing and consecrating themselves for 3 days.

I think, being in the new covenant, we sometimes forget the privilege of coming to God. We are so pampered at the ease by which we approach God that we mistakenly devalue it.

We see here in Chapter 24 that God wants Moses alone to come near to God. He desires the close relationship of His people. God desires intimacy! The Hebrew word for "come near" is Nagash, the same word used to describe sexual intercourse, or sexual intimacy, the closest physical relationship between a man and a woman. God wants to be closer than that.
In John 15, Jesus attempts to communicate that desire to the disciples, and to us. He says, "Abide in Me, and I in you" and "Abide in My Love".
In John 17, He prays "that they may all be one, just as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You..."

Intimacy comes at a price
As I read through verse 3 to verse 8, it details what it took to prepare themselves to come close to God.

1. Telling everyone the requirements of this intimacy.
2. Getting them to agree and be like-minded.
3. Writing down what had been instructed.
4. Waking up early.
5. Building an altar at the foot of the mountain.
6. Building 12 pillars to represent each tribe.
7. Sending youth to offer burnt offerings and sacrifice peace offerings of oxen (which is a long tedious process of selecting an appropriate animal, killing it, collecting the blood, carving up the carcass, burning the parts of the animal).
8. Throwing half the blood collected on the altar.
9. Reading the Covenant to the people.
10. Throwing the blood on the people.

It is a long list that started early in the morning and probably required much preparation before it could be carried out. All that work can be summarised into one Name.

JESUS

Formerly, the leaders were unable to even touch the mountain. The bible says that God "did not lay His hand on the chief men of the people of Israel". In Exodus 19:12 & 13, God clearly stated that whoever touched the mountain would die. In Exodus 19:21, God told Moses to warn the people in case they came through and saw God and died. No looking, no touching, no intimate relationship. But when those requirements were fulfilled, the leaders able to climb up to see God. They were able to eat and drink with the God of the universe. Something not done since before Adam & Eve's sin.

I believe that through the consecration, the altars set up, the sacrifices offered, the blood sprinkled and the terms of the Covenant read out allowed for a moment, this intimacy that God was longing for. I believe this is just a snapshot of what Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice, the perfect high priest, did for us. What the men of the old covenant enjoyed briefly, we have for eternity!

And yet, that is not all there is to be said. There is a higher call that Moses received. A call for an intimacy deeper and purer than the sexual union between a man and his woman. A call that is not reserved only for Moses and Aaron, but for every believer now. A call to come close to receive what is necessary for your life's work. There is no other option if the church is to fulfill her responsibility to the world.

My Walkabout - Port Campbell

When I was little, an overseas vacation meant a trip with my parents. They would be the ones handling meals, transport, accommodation, tickets, timing and procedure. I realised recently that my parents have a very unique style of touring. Very laid back, very relaxed, very unplanned. You could say I haven't been on a vacation with them for a really long time. When we were checking in to our flight in Singapore, there was some problem with immigration that needed to be cleared. According to their records, they thought I was still travelling under my mom's passport.

The trip was fantastic. It was a brilliant conversation with Jesus. I loved the long drive from Melbourne Airport to the Great Ocean Road. My breath would be taken away at every corner. Whether it would be the sunlight shy through the trees, or the vast expanse of sky, boldly crying for attention. What I really liked was the lazy fog trying to hide the landscape. As if it could.

Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings,

ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;

worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness.
The voice of the LORD is over the waters;

the God of glory thunders,

the LORD, over many waters.
The voice of the LORD is powerful;

the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf, and Sirion like a young wild ox.

The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire.

The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness;

the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.

The voice of the LORD makes the deer give birth
and strips the forests bare,
and in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
May the LORD give strength to his people!
May the LORD bless his people with peace!

Psalm 29 (ESV)

My Walkabout - Last Night In Sydney

I became ill after the conference. Flu on Saturday, followed by cough on Sunday, followed by fever on Monday. The devil is such a liar, I cannot even begin to describe how cheap his tactics were. All I remember was dark fear planted in my mind, and constant reminders of death and disease. My strength kept draining away while the devil kept bombarding my mind with blatant lies like, "Not only are you sick with H1N1, you're going to infect the whole family too!"

I had to turn to my Bible and read the Psalms and the Proverbs. I had to remind myself constantly of the Blood of Jesus and victory won on the cross. All the prayer and the Word of God made a difference. The fever broke this morning and I woke up feeling slightly dizzy but much stronger. It helps to be in a environment of the Love of Jesus.

I was able to go out to Piermont Fish Market, Darling Harbour, and Manly Island. There were my parents, Uncle Ron & Aunt Heong, Uncle Lionel & Aunt Pat, and my nephews, Thomas & Patrick. Its different when you are the only one in your generation in the group. I felt somewhat detached. I know my parents enjoyed themselves a lot.

You know what I want to learn?
How to never turn away from a person who has an infectious disease and needs the Love of Jesus.

Take that, devil.

My Walkabout - Day 2 - Hillsong 1st Night

I recognise Sydney like an old friend. The colours, the smells, the food, the people, and the architecture, all remind me how much I have missed her. We went to Circular Quay today for a walkabout. I enjoyed the aimless stroll we had, making decisions as we went along.

His Grace leads us so effortlessly.
Here is one instance of how He handles things. Mom had wanted to take a ride on the ferry ever since we bought the daytripper pass. (A transportation ticket that allows for unlimited rides on the train, bus and ferry services) I was against the idea because I thought that we wouldn’t have enough time to get back to Circular Quay and travel to Olympic Park station where the conference is held. So I kept refusing to go for the ferry ride. My mom went silent in disappointment. I think she was praying. I think it is true when God says He can meet all our needs. While looking at the map, my attention was diverted to the ferry services map. The words Olympic Park caught my eye. It turns out that there’s a ferry from Circular Quay to the Olympic Park. We went enquire about it at the ticket booth and found out that the next ferry would be 15 minutes later. There wouldn’t be another ferry service for at least another hour. God answered both our desires in His special way. It was a beautiful journey. The cold wind and light drops of rain were so refreshing.

His Grace stopped the rain
After the conference, we met up with Eileen and her friends and decided to all have dinner together at a restaurant near the Rocks. To make a long frustrating story short, we ended up eating at Hungry Jacks (Burger King) in Town Hall. While we were eating, it started to rain, and I mean it was pouring. We were so far from the station and it was late at night. I could feel their eyes on me, analyzing my reaction. I could feel the irritation welling up inside me as the rain came down harder and harder. It started just above my tummy, past my heart, up my chest into my throat and in my mouth, the words, “Thank You, Jesus” surfaced. I was surprised at those gracious words. But I knew at once it was right. So I repeated it over and over again. I said to my parents, “It is real.”
I was referring to His power over the weather being real. I spoke to Father God, “You have to stop it, God. We need to get back to the hotel.”

And it did.
Craig Groeschel spoke about it tonight. He was speaking about the Power of God. The thing that separates churches that thrive and grow, from the churches that simply exist. He defined it as a hunger or passion that believers have. Immediately, I was reminded of the team of young poietes, the doers, in our church and it made me excited. He could not really define it but he knew what it did to the early church in Acts 2:42-27. People could see it in operation as needs were being met.

The bible uses extreme words:
o everyone filled with awe
o all who believed were together
o they had all things in common
o giving to all who were poor
o had favour with all the people
o daily increase of those saved

This was the result of having it.

1. Churches and Ministries who have it have a LASER FOCUS
   - They know their calling. What to do and what NOT to do.
   - They reach people no one else is reaching by doing what no one else is doing.
   - They don’t duplicate what others are doing. When we start to compete with other churches or imitate blindly, we’ve lost the plot
   - If we are not making a difference, its time to re-examine why we are doing it.
   - Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should do it
   - What are we doing that we need to stop doing?
   
2. Churches and Ministries who have it see OPPORTUNITIES where others see obstacles.
   - They are so passionate that they find a way for it to be done. They are not thrown off by hindrances or lack.
   - We must realise that God has provided everything that is needed for us to achieve what He has called us to do
   - The reason why we can’t is not because of what we lack materially or physically but because of what we lack in passion!
   - God doesn’t just guide by what He provides, He also guides by what He withholds. Acts 3:36 shows what Peter didn’t have and using what He had. The name of Jesus. Or limitations can become our greatest innovation!
   
3. Churches and Ministries that have it are willing to fail.
   - Those who play it safe will never get it. There cannot be increase without taking chances The person who plays it safe doesn’t fail but also achieves NOTHING. (Matthew 25:14-30 -> parable of the talents)
   - If we do fail, shake off failure and condemnation, sin and shame. Step up and keep going.
   - The greatest failure of the new testament, Peter, became a great preacher at Pentecost. (Acts 2:14-41)
   
4. Churches and Ministries that have it are led by people who have it.
   - You cannot copy what others have. Learn & discover it for yourself!
   - If you have it in your heart, you will start to see it in reality.

More updates coming soon!

My Walkabout - Day 1

I don’t remember half my flight. I know we were delayed for almost 2 hours in Singapore because of technical faults. I know I watched the movie ‘watchmen’ and didn’t understand much of it because I kept nodding off. I slept almost entirely after that movie. After a brief stopover in Adelaide, we arrived in Sydney almost 4 hours behind schedule. Uncle Ronnie had waited for that amount of time in the airport. He was still plenty cheerful. He’s an amazing man.

It was good to see Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Heong again. There are two things that I really admire about them. The first being their hospitality. I have never remembered being to their house without having some sort of feast. Today the food was comforting. Chicken macaroni – I had two servings, and sponge cake with coffee to top it off. They always remind me of the Love of God and I responded to it by washing the dishes. =)

The other thing that amazes me is their amazing memory. They remember places and things people said more that 25 years ago. I won’t say I have a poor memory because I think God wants me to write them down instead of just having it in my head, where it could become forgotten. Donald Miller was writing about his friend’s unusual habit of journaling everything. Donald Miller asked his friend about it and the answer really struck me.

If you don’t remember it, it is as if you never lived it.
I want to remember everything!

We’re staying in a serviced apartment in Parramatta. The place is quite amazing. I get my own room with an attached bathroom, kitchenette, balcony, washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, flatscreen tv and queensized bed. My parents’ apartment is slightly bigger with everything I have but they have a living room. We get both rooms for a total of $200 a night. We’re so blessed. Tomorrow, we head to Sydney harbour for a walkabout before heading to the Olympic park. Father, make it come alive for me!

Exactly One Year Ago...

Tonight I leave for Sydney, Australia. Tonight I leave to immerse myself with a stadium full of worshippers. Some people have asked me, "Why travel all the way there?" or "Is God in Sydney?"

John chapter 4, the passage on worship says it doesn't matter where we worship. I agree wholeheartedly. I'm not going for this conference just to meet God, although I know I definitely will. I meet up with Him constantly in places like Bakers' Inn @ Tampines One or Burger King @ Raffles City. And if I don't have the time, I invite Him to accompany me on the walks home from the MRT.

It isn't about where we worship. No.
The fact is I want to be where the worshippers are. That is where God moves and transforms people. I feel a tinge of sadness that the band of believers that have rallied together in Charis cannot join me for this. I experience God whenever we're meeting to have 'Kingdom Talk' over tao hui and you char kui. Or when we bring the unsheltered for tea.

I have seen the effects of the revelation of Jesus in the lives of some of us. We've gotten started. But there is something more to learn here. Pastor Tan-Yeo spoke this morning about an invitation given by God to the Israelite leaders to come up higher. I have been saying, "Give me a destination and a purpose!" Today she invited us to run with her and come with her closer to God. I won't be at the starting line but this is a run I will definitely join.

---

I wrote this on 5 July 2008. Exactly one year ago, when I was waiting for the Barney, Michelle, Elissa and Cheryl to arrive from Melbourne.

"... and now, here in Sydney, new circumstances seem to be forming. Father, teach me to see true beauty. As always, I enjoy your sweet presence, Spirit of Jesus. Let me be constantly aware of your attendance. I love you, precious Holy Spirit. Sustainer, Guide, Comfort, Teacher, Advocate, Vindicator, Defender, Giver, Entertainer, Empowerer, Counsellor, Life-changer..."

---

Cheesecake & Coffee With Jesus...

It has been ages since I did this. At least, it really feels that way. Jesus has been calling for a date and I haven't had the time to respond. I have been learning, receiving, listening, giving, doing and ministering. In fact, it seems like I've been doing so more intensely these few weeks. Ever since the XS leaders starting catching some sort of passion. This absurd hunger for Jesus and the Word. The inevitable is happening. Some might call it a fad, some might call it hype. I think it is a revolution.

There are many things that amaze me but few as much as seeing youth on fire for God. The very thing that God has been preparing me for is starting to happen. No amount of resistance or inertia can withhold such a move of God. I find myself being a part of this revival even though I hold no official role in the XS ministry. By being obedient to the calling of God, I see the 3 areas of my calling coming to fruition.

Worship leading and ministering with music.

Being an inspiration to the youth and helping them develop sustainable passion.

Bringing the experience of God to the world. Constant missions.

I look forward to seeing greater increase in these areas. The increase in anointing and influence in worship and youth has been astounding and very much unexpected. I want to come to a point where I'm no longer surprised that God is blessing me but at how much He's blessing me with. I trust that it will always be more than what I can ask or imagine. My faith stands because He is faithful to fulfill what He has promised. The anointing will develop as I remain in the presence of God.

I don't speak of the anointing so as to justify my shortcomings. Neither do I wish to boast of talents given to me. The anointing is meant to glorify Jesus.

...whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
- 1 Corinthians 10:31 -

And if I do boast, I will boast like Paul did. I will boast of the areas of my life that were not surrendered to God. I will boast of a lousy lifestyle and a stinking attitude, my weaknesses. I will boast of a loving, patient God who chose to direct His anger and wrath towards Jesus so that I would have chances at Abundant Living. Coffee and Cheesecake with Jesus is always so refreshing. He is so gentle and loving. Always firm, never harsh. Bringing correction without condemnation. Has the church forgotten the character of God?

I recall a recent prayer meeting that I attended. I was there early that evening, all excited because the focus would be on the youth ministry. I had helped to set up the microphones, laid out the wires, and prepped the sound system and projector. I was a bit thirsty after all that work so I decided to get a coke from the dispenser. I sat at the back row of the chapel, relaxed, enjoying the presence of God while sipping the cold beverage. There was a lady seated beside me so, trying to be friendly, I turned to her a flashed a big, warm smile. Nothing prepared me for the tone of what she said next. With an unwavering expression, she remarked, "This is a sanctuary!"
I was almost about to say AMEN and begin sharing about the presence of God when I realised that she was not looking at me but at the red can that I held. My ears burned. I quickly got up and walked out. I felt lousy.

Maybe the real reason is to keep the chapel free of ants or rubbish. I don't think God really minds us eating and drinking in His presence. Maybe I should have mentioned Psalm 23 where it says that God prepares a feast for me in heaven. Or that we are meant to partake of the feasting table of the Lord. (1 Corinthians 10:21)
I don't think God was offended by my drinking in the chapel. I know it offended her. Maybe 1 Corinthians 10:32 applies to me.

Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

I know Jesus didn't overlook my service to Him. That is all that really matters.

You Did It For Me...

"How can I stay here with you and not be moved by you?"

| Lifehouse - Everything |

I couldn't help myself. I had to go back to them. I had to see them again and be with them. I had to baptise them with His Love because I felt I might drown in it otherwise. I had to release the thickness of His presence or I would suffocate. Is there such a thing as too much of God?

Sani became introspective today... He asked questions that many of us have struggled with. Why am I like this? How did I come to this state?

I kept silent. Some questions sound better if they are left to linger.

My heart was so full, I had to remind him of how we met. I tried to suggest that we were God's Love showing Him that he was remembered... and treasured. I was hoping with every fibre of my being, willing the words I spoke to take root in his heart. He needs it. He deserved better.

I admired the relationship that he and his Chinese friend had. They had a world of difference between the both of them, I wondered how they managed to stay friends for so long. God reminded me, you know very well about friendships that should have disintergrated but didn't. He was right. There are friendships that were built to withstand even the worst of people. The worst of me.

We all need relationships to keep us going. We all need to be around people that challenge us. In ways that keeps us fresh and relevant. It surprises me how much we depend on the people that we place importance in.

Sani has unwittingly become my teacher, my Jesus. And yet, its time to look out further.

Just What Did We Do?

"If everyone could do what you do, there wouldn't be need for jail..."

| Sani* - Unsheltered |

Such weighty words! Such high praise! But what was it that we did? What were the selfless acts of kindness? What sort of generousity deserved such thick gratitude? Was it salvation? Was it redemption? Reminders of righteousness? Or Grace? Did we clothe them? Or feed them? Or break their chains of bondage? Did we preach to them or heal them?

No...

It was one bloody dollar spent. A cup of tea.

We should all be amazed at how simple it is. Tea with the unsheltered helped the conversation along. From loneliness to relationships, cigarettes to lifelines, jails and families. We made them curious just because we listened to them. They didn't say it but you could see it in their eyes. I'm guessing it made them question. Why were we so confident and assured? People don't normally slow down to talk to us.

I was surprised at how quickly we found our groove. It made men, wise and authoritative, out of the boys. Strength & beauty were revealed in the girls. All bold, all brave. We began to see a depth of His power & the fidelity of His Word. I saw believers raring to become doers. The Greek word, Poietes, doesn't just mean a doer. It also means producer, author, maker, and my favourite, poet. There is creativity, authenticity, originality, beauty when believers become doers and not just hearers. What good is our doctrine and theology if it doesn't inspire or benefit? What good is it learning about Jesus if we don't recognise that He is the white-haired Chinese man who speaks in broken English. Or is the light of Jesus so dim and His voice so feeble that we can't see or hear Him through the dark skin and Malay accent of Sani?

I know this. The Love of God is unstoppable. No amount of bad decisions, or bad attitudes or sin can stop His Love. It will find a way even through the lethargy and ignorance, the prejudice and procrastination of the church. I know this. Because He found the most unlikely. He found me.

* Not his real name

Tea In A Takeaway Cup...

I found it interesting how often he brought up the topics about the Catholic and the Christian Church. It was interesting how he noticed that Christians were the only ones who bothered to visit the unsheltered. Tonight, he seemed genuinely pleased and more comfortable with us. He spoke about the same topics and repeated stories that became clearer each time he told it. The years lined in his face seemed to fade away as he sipped his sweetened tea.

He spoke of his 13 years unsheltered. Most would blame it on their bad luck. But he was thankful. Thankful for coincidences. He remembered the times when hunger pangs would steal his sleep, but somehow his needs would be met. Someone would leave Nasi Lemak with him. Or a packet of Kopi. I think God loves him more than he knows.

He was conflicted when it came to religion. He praised Christianity and its good works. And yet spoke of those who converted from his religion to Christianity as weak and foolish. They were usually drug addicts and ex-convicts. He spoke of the generosity of pastors and priests in the respective churches. He often brought other unsheltered friends to get handouts. But he himself could not step into a church. Was it fear? Or tradition? I think it was the awe of God. I think he could not bring himself to come close to God.

I believe we are God's response. We are to bring Love to him. The presence of God in the form of tea in a takeaway cup. He was smiling when we walked back to his regular spot. I could see peace on his face. This may not be evangelism as we know it. This is baptism into the presence of God.

First Things First!

Its been quite awhile since I've preached and I'm grateful to Pastor Andy and the XS committee for giving me the opportunity to speak at combined cell. I spoke on the Great Commission.

---

What do you understand by The Great Commission?
The common answers will be “BRINGING PEOPLE TO CHURCH”, “EVANGELISM”, “ SPREADING THE GOSPEL”, “GETTING PEOPLE TO BECOME CHRISTIANS”, “MISSION TRIPS!”

Let’s take a close look at the passage today. I want us to read this together in just a moment.

Matthew 28
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

THE LEAD UP TO THE GREAT COMMISSION.
They went to Galilee…
You know… sometimes, as Christians, we tend to overcomplicate things. When we think of evangelism, we think it is some difficult, complex debate that we have to win when we share the gospel.
But the lead up to the great commission starts off with a simple act. They went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. They simply did what Jesus told them to do. Obedience.
When I say obedience, I’m not talking about having to be perfect. Always making the correct decision. I’m talking about just being faithful with what God has told you to do. The bible says that if you’re faithful with the small things, he will reward you with much. Obedience is the starting point for greatness. I see this occurring consistently in the bible and it can also be true in your life.
Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Jesus, The Disciples, Paul,

When you are obedient, Jesus will reveal Himself to you! Not the ‘peekaboo’ kind of revealing but an understanding of His Word, or a discovery of His character, a show of His Power in healing or miracles.

Matthew 11:25 -> Revealed them to children.
Luke 17:11-19 -> Ten Lepers get healed AS they went…. Only the samaritan worshipped

The Jews of Judea and Galilee disliked the Samaritans because they were not true Jews.

As a religious sect, the Samaritans are a strict, Torah-observing party with a resolute pride in their religious heritage. They maintain that they and not the Jews are the bearers of the true faith of ancient Israel as expounded by Moses and as practiced at Mt. Gerizim in ancient times.

Which brings me to my next point.
When they saw him…
When you have a revelation of Jesus Christ, you will Worship.
What is worship? What has it got to do with The Great Commission? EVERYTHING!!!
John Piper, theologian, preacher, and author, once said that Missions exists because worship doesn’t.

Proskuneo
1. to kiss the hand to (towards) one, in token of reverence
2. among the Orientals, esp. the Persians, to fall upon the knees and touch the ground with the forehead as an expression of profound reverence
3. in the NT by kneeling or prostration to do homage (to one) or make obeisance, whether in order to express respect or to make supplication

Luke 5:6-8 -> Peter gets a revelation of Jesus Christ and confesses Him in Luke 9:18-20
Exodus 3:10,12 -> God redeemed the nation of Israel so that they might serve or worship God on this mountain. God wants worshippers!!
John 4:21-24 -> Worship in Spirit and in Truth. But He still wants worshippers!

We have the awesome-mest God
Jesus says one of the most amazing, controversial statements ever recorded in the bible. Sometimes I feel that our reading of the verse doesn’t do it justice.
“All authority in heaven and on earth HAS BEEN GIVEN to me!”

How powerful is your God? Is he the same one we sing about in Sunday School song, “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty. There nothing my God cannot do!”

Sometimes, I feel that we are rushing into evangelism before we ourselves get to know how great our God is. We try to tell people before we are convinced! We start telling other people’s testimonies!
“You know my Mother’s colleague’s daughter prayed before she took her piano exam and she got a distinction! Praise God!”
What has God done for you! Tell me YOUR encounter. Tell me YOUR experience. YOUR healing, miracle, breakthrough!

Do we know our In-Christ Position? (Eph 1:3) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,

THEREFORE!!!!
Go and make disciples - Matheteuo
1. to be a disciple of one
a. to follow his precepts and instructions
2. to make a disciple
a. to teach, instruct
Have we forgotten how to learn from the nations?
I think we should be listening to them and observing them and learning from them so that we can become relevant… And that’s what our missionaries are doing. They have cultural exchanges, where they learn to speak the language, the activities, the behaviour and character of people in a foreign land.

Shouldn’t we be doing that with our own groups of friends? Shouldn’t we learn about them too? Shouldn’t we present our Jesus in a way that they will accept instead of the typical “You’re a sinner, you need Jesus” method?

Baptizing them - Baptizo
1. to dip repeatedly, to immerse, to submerge (of vessels sunk)
2. to cleanse by dipping or submerging, to wash, to make clean with water, to wash one's self, bathe
3. to overwhelm

Bapto (Dip) Baptizo (Immerse)

I believe in baptism. I believe that when confess Jesus as Lord, we’re immersed and mixed up all together with Him. And God sees us as His own children.
But before people are ready to be accept Christ, I believe they need to be Baptoed first. Its like swimming. You can’t throw a young child into the deep end of the pool and expect him to enjoy swimming immediately! You have to let him get used to the temperature of the water, let him wade about before he is comfortable with it.

That’s what we as Christians should be doing. We carry around the presence of God. We are the ones who give them the taste of the presence of God.
2 Corinthians 2:14 àBut thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.

Teaching them - Didasko
1. to teach
· to hold discourse with others in order to instruct them, deliver didactic discourses (communication of thought by words; talk; conversation: earnest and intelligent discourse. From dictionary.com)

Teaching makes it sound as if we have to know a lot. I prefer the word conversation. Its less threatening for both sides.

Recently, a small group of us decided to visit the homeless in Singapore… And I loved the fact that we didn’t have an agenda for them. We weren’t there to talk about Jesus or to convert them. We just sat at their feet and listened… We became a disciple so that we could find out what they needed, what they were concerned about. I learnt a lot of new perspectives from them. Some skewed, some true, but all interesting.

They were wary at first, and they kept asking where we were from. But about 5-10 minutes after we introduced ourselves, I think they started enjoying the company. I believe God Is concerned about the well being of people. And if we would just learn to show love instead of practicing the 4 spiritual laws, we could actually create some change.

Some of you might be asking God, how can I serve you more, how can I reach more people? As the musicians come up, I want to ask you, have you been immersed together with Christ? Have you experienced and enjoyed His presence? I believe God is telling you today , “Will you just come into my presence and enjoy me? Let me fill you up? Let me show you abundant life!”

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He Did It Himself...

Setting The Standard

I've been reading Chapters 58 - 61 of the book of Isaiah. I see a progression that was not apparent to me before. In chapter 58, we see God rebuking the nation of Israel. He points out the obvious flaws in their attempts to please God. Their feeble attempts at fasting and drawing near to God.

God saw that it was a hopeless situation. He says fasting like that will not make your voice heard up here. Your religious deeds are unseen and unheard because there is a louder cry. Your pitiful attempts are drowned out by the wickedness that is allowed. The unjust situations where the cry of the oppressed, the hungry, the homeless and the naked are louder. They get My attention.

You want to be heard? Meet their needs! Verses 9 and 10 state the requirements for salvation. Remove the burdens, the blaming and the flaming. Pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted. Honour the Sabbath and use it to serve others. Matthew 2:7 clearly state that God desires mercy. He desires steadfast love to be shown.

Highlighting the Separation

The more I read this passage, the more I see that God knew that we could never accomplish the standards that were set. God mentions in Isaiah 59 that our filthiness have made a separation between God and us. It also says that it is our sins that hide God's face from us. Its funny how we've portrayed God to be some clean freak who cannot stand the dirt. That He leaves at the slightest sign of sin or cannot bear to look at us if we've done wrong.

When I read verse 9 to 15, I picture a man standing outdoors in the bright sunshine. This man, just by living his life, releases pollutants into the atmosphere. Similar to the exhaust from cars or the smell from the waste we produce. These pollutants, over time, block out the sun and soon, we are in darkness. That's just the way it is. It didn't matter if we had good or bad intentions. Our life produced pollutants which blocked us from God!

The more we remained in it, the more difficult it became to fulfill the requirements that God stated earlier. It became impossible to meet the standard, because we couldn't even see where we were going. Salvation was far from us.

Destroying The Wall

HE saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede;
then HIS own arm brought him salvation, and HIS righteousness upheld him.
So they shall fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun.
| Isaiah the prophet - Isaiah 59:16, 19a |

That is how amazing God is. He saw that the separation could never be bridged through the efforts of man. He saw that intimacy would be impossible if things stayed the way they were.
Even way back here in the Old Testament, God is giving a glimpse of Jesus. When no man could accomplish the requirements for salvation, or put on righteousness, or uphold justice, God did it Himself

Ephesians 2:14 says that "...He himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility..."
Jesus did that for us so that we might come close to Him. So that we might experience the blessings and favour of God.

If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day
| U2's Bono - Bad : The Unforgettable Fire |

Giving Us Purpose
It doesn't end there. It goes on into chapter 61 which start with the words immortalised by Jesus. We should all burn these words into our hearts. I hope that as you read this, God sparks off the same passion and excitement that He did in me.

Remember the standards stated earlier in chapter 58? The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me.....

• To bring good news to the poor
• To bind up the brokenhearted
• To proclaim liberty to the captives the opening of the prison to those who are bound,
• To proclaim the year of the Lord's favour and the day of vengeance of our God
• To comfort those who mourn and give them something beautiful for their ashes
• To give them reasons to be glad and reasons to praise
• To clothe them with righteousness

There is a strong word here. What started off as requirements for salvation has now transformed into the result of salvation.
James states it unabashedly in James 2:15,16,18,22... "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?
I will show you my faith by my works. You see that faith was active along with works, and faith was completed by works."

This is what He did it for...

I Hear His Song... And I'm Singing...

This is so beautiful...

His Heart... It Beats For Only Me...

God speaks to me through songs. He uses songs that I like to communicate His feelings towards me. During the week, we were planning what songs to prepare for our jamming session and Elissa suggested one of her favourites. My heart, by Paramore. (see video below.)

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
The song is like a prayer. The prayer starts off with a confession, a request from a repentant heart that realises the futility of trying to live right or do good without God. This is where I've been so many times, living as if I have got it all under control. That is, until I start messing up.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This is the line that I truly identify with. I often long to hear from God. I often ask God to speak to me but I'm usually listening out only for what I want to hear. This time, Hayley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore, listens before making the request again. It amazes me how honest these lyrics are. I could do things on my own, but it would be meaningless without including God.
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This is the part that gets to me. I've heard this song many times before. I've seen Hayley singing her heart out in that song. Pointing to God when she sings. It is intense. It is passionate.

But in the last week, when I was listening to the arrangement, God just whispered to me. "You asked for my song? This IS my song to you."
And God started singing this to me over the singing of Hayley and the screaming of Josh Farro. I could see Jesus beating His chest with one fist as He sang.

"This heart? It beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours!
These hands, were pierced, pierced for only you. My blood is yours!
My Blood was shed, shed for only you. My Life is yours!"

And the intensity that God was screaming it brought me to tears even as I was walking home from the MRT. And I began to understand what Psalms 40:3 means.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

It is only when we understand what God's heart is for us, that we are able to sing a new song of praise back to Him. The consequence is that many will see and fear (be in awe of) and put their trust in the Lord.

How Is Your Heart?

I've been thinking about the expectations and standards that we have here in Singapore and how it relates to people like myself. I had a conversation with a friend which left me confused about the way I'm living my life. Its been pretty obvious for quite awhile that I'm different. I have a different way of thinking and behaving which sometimes makes me feel like I stick out. I feel that I sometimes rub those I consider close friends the wrong way. Even when I don't intend to.

I felt that I've never fit in during my school days. Its strange that my route in the education system would be influenced by my Chinese results and not by my character and the way I learnt. Ever since primary four, my Chinese results began to drop steadily. From A's in primary three to C's in primary six. Because of my PSLE results, I could not go to the first school of my choice and ended up in another neighbourhood school. There, I always stood out as the Chinese boy who could not speak Mandarin.
I was a rarity.

The teacher would call on me to read aloud in class. I would be embarrassed to do so. Sometimes, I would get my classmates to read the text to me before class and I would write down the Hanyu Pinyin (the romanisation of Chinese characters). The words would sound correct but the phrasing would naturally be atrocious because I hadn't a clue what I was reading.
They would laugh.

And it would reinforce my dislike for the subject. For four years, The steady decline continued till the final O' Level Examinations where I bottomed out, getting the lowest possible grades for oral and written examination. This again affected my path of education. I went to polytechnic, which at that time was only beginning to change from its image as a school for those who could not get into Junior College, into a respected education path.

In church, I often feel that I am unwanted because I don't fit in. Whether it was because I dyed my hair or pierced my ears, it seemed like there weren't any that thought, spoke, or acted like me. I believe that I have learnt to embrace the difference. Till today, I still remember my brother's words.
God looks at the heart.

I may have been trying to hard to impress the wrong people. I may have wasted too much of my life feeling bad that I could not meet the requirements of the education system or even my own religion. But when I see myself as who God sees me, I see Jesus in me. I start to understand that the experiences I've had has made me the person I am today. I see my talents swell and put to good use. God has blessed me in the area of music and I will use that to serve Him.

Recently, when I led worship for the Earthwired event, there were those who would rather comment on the unfamiliarity of the songs rather than acknowlege the presence of God. I was bothered by that. I was bothered that there were those who didn't enjoy it. But reminders have been coming in through friends and family that I should focus on doing what is right.
There will always be critics.

"...and some will criticise. Pay no attention. Pay no attention.
For greater shall be the company
of those who give thanks and who praise God for your obedience... "
| Simon Potter - November 2007 |

The greatest satisfaction is being able to let God work through me to reach those who are searching for Him. I was encouraged by those who were lost in worship. There was a girl in the first row who was crying and I could sense God saying, "If she was the only one who was touched by me, that is enough."

Focus on the good.

I Give You Back My Voice...

I've had a change of perspective in the last 4 weeks. I've had the privilege of working with some of the most awesome youth. Both in work and in worship.

I've been seeing youth from the SERVE 2009 programme coming to volunteer at COH. Its amazing how they respond to our clients, playing and interacting with them. I know for a fact that the Emmanual Day Activity Centre is a happier place for both instructors and clients because they came.


The beginning of March has been all about preparing for Earthwired - CAC Youth Event 2009. The committee initially approached me to be one of the instrumentalists. But after some changes, they asked me to lead worship instead.

I believe in the Grace of God. More so after this experience. I had almost completely lost my voice the day before Earthwired. My parents will say I was croaking rather than speaking. I was piling on "pi pa kao" and lozanges. But the thing that turned the whole thing around was coming across Proverbs 4:22 again.

For they (Your Word) are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.

On the morning of Earthwired, my voice was still hoarse and frog-like. I could not sing any of the songs. But with the encouragements of friends and the band, I kept believing that something miraculous was about to happen.... and it did! As we worshipped during the rehearsal just 45 minutes before the actual praise session, I could feel my voice opening up. And during the worship, I was able to give my all in worship!

I must say, it was the most exciting thing I've had to do this year! It was so encouraging to see the youth jumping in praise, to see the hands lifted in worship, to see the tears on the faces of the youth as God encounters them. God gave me back my voice so that I could sing and minister to His people.

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise...

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
| U2 - Magnificent |

Get Insurance With God And Do A Good Deed...

A girl stopped me today while I was walking around Toa Payoh Hub. She was nice and seemed genuine. She gave me compliments and was interested to get to know me more. She asked me about my family background and wanted to know my dreams. It seemed like every piece of information I divulged was extraordinary. She asked. She listened. And listened... and listened. I felt special. Her acceptance made me powerful.

She was an insurance agent.

I was just looking for a place to sit and write when she popped up. I don't know whether I was glad that I had someone to talk to or not. I guess I didn't really mind the interruption. But that interruption took about 2 hours. I never really liked insurance agents who use fear to influence the buying of policies.

The conversation made me think about my beliefs. Insurance has never been my top priority because first of all, I believe that the believer's life should be one constantly lived in health. My reason for getting a policy cannot be one done in fear or faithlessness.

Does that mean you will never get ill or have to go to the hospital?
I don't think I would even answer that because I will never ask myself that question. Rather, my statement of faith will always be that my insurance policy comes from heaven. My Father God is the one who provides the best coverage against death, disability and disease.

I am immortal until my work is accomplished.
- David Livingstone -

It is only from this foundation of faith that we can make wise choices about insurance policies or health plans. The Bible says to seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and everything else will be taken care of.

Get insurance with God and do a good deed...
Psalms 37:3 (The Message)

I like how The Message interprets this verse. It speaks of trusting in God and being active at the same time. We can only do good if we are fully aware of the benefits and the coverage of the most amazing insurance policy ever created. The premium is only to believe and the rewards are limitless.

The Christina Noble Children's Foundation

Prepare, Get Ready, Build

I must be honest. I have been distracted lately. But the thing is, I haven't realised what I've been distracted by. I have not been as passionate about my dreams and my goals as I used to be. There is always something to be done. Chinese New Year means little to me, but it seems to provide the most life-changing thoughts. Maybe I am more traditional at heart than I realise. Chatting with Pat on MSN stirred up the dream again. The dream that would raise eyebrows and make people think that I am still... dreaming?

There must always be a passion to drive you towards a goal. Contentment in Christianity is despicable and selfish. I'm not talking about contentment of material things. Paul shared that when it comes to our needs, we're to be content. But Paul was never content to stay in one place for very long. He was never content to sit in an office in front of a computer. He went places. Because there were always needs. Paul had a passion that could not be taken from him. He remembered Jesus in 1 Timothy 6 11, 13 & 14. When you take out the connecting words in that passage. Paul says, "But as for you, O man of God... ...I charge you in the presence of God... ...and of Jesus Christ... ... to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach..."

Paul was not talking about the instructions of the letter to Timothy's congregation. Commandment is singular. The commandment Paul was referring to can be found in Mark 16:15-18. That is the commandment. That is Paul's vision, Jesus' instruction and God's heart.

Prepare your work outside;
get everything ready for yourself in the field,
and after that build your house.
Proverbs 24:27

Am I prepared? Am I ready? Changes were put in place in 2008 so that in 2009 we can Look Out.
This is the year we prepare our work outside.
I want to go outside.

Travel Is Fatal...

I'm 26 years old and I want to travel. Not just to holiday or to see the world, but to give something of myself to people. To leave an imprint of Christ with the people I meet. I've visited a few countries in the first quarter century of my life, but being young and ignorant, there were so many things that I did not take note of.

I've been to Israel when I was in primary school, but at that age, I was more interested in practicing my football techniques with pebbles along the roads than learning about the rich history and culture of God's chosen people. I've been to New York but being there with my parents visiting relatives seemed a little boring to me. I was too preoccupied with disguising my inferiority complex with vices.

I've been to the United Kingdom, to Finland and Sweden, to France, and to Australia. To Myanmar, Nepal, Malaysia, Thailand and China. And the issue that keeps resurfacing is how come I've not seen so much? Questions like "Why didn't you know about this?" and "How can you not be moved?", come to mind.

How can you even attempt to change the world when you know so little about it? I think Mother Teresa best describes it when she reminded us that "Jesus said love one another. He didn't say love the whole world."
I pray for opportunities.

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."
| Mark Twain |

Her Name Is Grace...

She cannot stay still. She always looks out. She looks at who She can help. She is beautiful and free. Her moves, eternally intimate, capture my fascination. Dancing lightly out of the reach of the proud and envious. She is close to those who never expected Her. I never did.

Meeting the flaws of those who search, covering the gaps, smoothing over the mistakes. Turning them into lessons, easy to swallow. She's been taught to inspire those She's helped to care for others. She wants to move you. She is the Gift and She wants you to see the Giver. Its time to stop seeing Her and I as separate. Maybe then We will begin to recognise those who have not received.

No longer about your past, the mistakes, the wrong choices... That is over.
No longer about your present, they are just decisions for you to make...
No longer about your future, the possibilities, the dreams. That is selfish.
There comes a point in time where it is no longer how you look with or without Her. You've been dealt with. You are loved, clean, whole. Your life is settled.

We think that we know Her. We think we've got Her figured out. We claim that She has transformed our lives. We testify that we've been moved. But if She's moved you, why are you standing still?

~~~ Where the streets have no name ~~~
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

The city's aflood
And our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do
| U2 - Joshua Tree |